So sorry for the lack of bloggage lately. Typically enough, we were so busy in the two week run up to our holiday that I just didn’t have a chance to think let alone sit down and write anything. I baked right up until the day before we left! Birthday cakes, Anniversary cakes and Teacher gifts galore on top of our usual weekly orders left me a tad swamped.
Like most people, we’ve not been able to see our families during lockdown. The last time I was in Ireland was over two years ago for my Dad’s 60th birthday and it had been even longer since Gordon had been able to go, so this year our holiday was a trip back home to Ireland. It was a long overdue visit and we stayed longer than we usually do. In a normal year, pre-pandemic, we would see my family once every couple of months, sometimes just for a weekend or sometimes for a week’s holiday. I would take the short hop from Liverpool to Cork at least two or three times a year, with Gordon coming with me when his schedule allowed. My parents and Aunts would come here to Chester a couple of times a year too, to visit and go Christmas or January sale shopping. The flight is only 45mins and we can get some very cheap deals on flights with Ryanair. I am now aware of how lucky and privileged we are to be able to do this. I’d certainly taken it for granted until I was no longer able to do it.
With the constant changes to travel restrictions in the run up to our trip, I‘d tried not to get too excited about going in case it got cancelled at the last minute (again) but once we were on the plane I was elated. I do still call going to visit my family, ‘going home’ despite the fact that I haven’t lived in Ireland for more than 13 years. The 10 days seemed to fly by. It was my Mother’s 60th birthday, my Aunt’s and Cousin’s birthdays and I started my 36th year on the planet all during the trip so there were a lot of celebrations. Frustratingly, we had a booked afternoon tea at a swish hotel to celebrate my Mother's 60th but they cancelled so we had to cobble together an at home version at the last minute but it turned out well in the end.
At home afternoon tea for my Mother's and Aunt's birthdays
I also had the joy of meeting and cuddling my niece, Elaina, for the first time. Watching my little brother being a dad blew my mind. Lockdown rules are stricter in Ireland than here in the UK. As a result we didn’t do the usual whirlwind round of visits to friends and hung out at home instead, mostly sitting and talking and spending time with my family. We were able to rest, relax and catch up on reading while being fed copious amounts of food. My Dad made my favourite lobster stir fry not once but twice! Sharing meals with my family always makes me happy. We watched the Olympics and played cards. We bickered and laughed and took the piss out of each other. We did family things, the things that centre me.
The menfolk playing Chinese poker.
I took Hubby out to do some of the touristy things around my home town. I reckon a lot of people have been rediscovering local sights and attractions as a result of lockdown restrictions and the popularity of staycations this year. Being a tourist in your own town can be fun and educational! It rained pretty much constantly so he finally got a taste of true Irish weather. He’s an excellent excuse for me to revisit the places I’d not been to in years. We had a long walk around Muckross and went on the boat across the lake to Dinis cottage. We walked to Ross Castle and spotted some deer. I take it for granted, but Killarney is such a beautiful place. I enjoyed showing hubby the places I grew up, where I went to school and where I lived during University. We went to Fota wildlife park and walked around Cork City. While the shop fronts might change, the bones of the towns and cities stay the same. The familiarity is a comfort and I do still feel a sense of belonging in Ireland. I feel sad when an old favourite shop or pub has closed but also excited to see the new places opening.
Hubby and I in Muckross
They say that home is where your heart is but I do sometimes feel pulled in two different directions. I moved to the UK to study initially as a temporary thing, settling here long term was my choice. I do love the life my husband and I have built here in Chester. We have jobs we enjoy, a lovely house to live in, and wonderful friends but not being able to get home during the pandemic did make me terribly lonely at times. I missed my whole family so much. The distance seemed further than ever before because it was enforced and it felt like such a long time to be away! It compounded the mental health crisis I’d weathered and come out of just before the first lockdown started. During that time, my brother also got married and had a baby. I felt so frustrated at not being able to be there to support him during these life milestones. Whatsapp video calls sometimes helped but sometimes made me even more homesick. I missed gossiping with my mom and Aunts in the kitchen, sitting down for a coffee and a natter with my brothers and trying new varieties of mangoes with my Dad. We’ve since had some serious discussions about staying in the UK versus moving to Ireland. For now, I think we’re staying put but we’ve not ruled out moving back in the future. I know that I might feel differently once things ease more and travel becomes more commonplace again. It’s so strange though because at the end of our break, and despite my sadness to be leaving my family, I was still happy to be back ‘home’ again in Chester. Is it normal to have two ‘homes’? I’d missed my cats and my garden and the comfort of my own bed. I often miss one home when I am at the other.
Belated birthday board-game fun
Knowing how torn I sometimes feel, I am reluctant to put Hubby through the same thing if we were to move to Ireland. I worry that he would end up hopelessly homesick too. He’s very good to me. Knowing that I’d likely be missing my family and feeling a bit deflated after coming home to Chester, he arranged a belated birthday party for me with some of our friends this weekend as a surprise. We played games and had a potluck dinner. I wasn’t allowed to cook anything, instead everybody brought a different form/flavour of chicken wings, which have been a favourite food of mine for a very long time. It did cheer me up enormously and rounded off our break really nicely. After all, friends are the family that we choose for ourselves are they not? I know that I would miss them and Chester terribly too if we did move back to Ireland.
I count myself lucky. Missing people and places comes from love of those people and places. Sure how bad to have two homes right? Where do you feel most at home? Is it the people or the places that you miss the most?
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