Its January!

We would like to thank all our customers, friends and family for the support and kindness we’ve received over the last year. 2022 was a blast and we’re hoping that 2023 will be even better.

Christmas time chez DarnTart/Barlow/Tong

I like to be organised (some would say this is an understatement) and I love a list, so I normally have a written plan of action for each month, week and day and on baking days an hourly break down too. The run up to Christmas is no exception. I love Christmas, I revel in the buzz and feelings of goodwill. I really enjoy getting presents for the people in our lives and having the excuse to show them a bit of appreciation and care. I savour cooking celebratory foods for a crowd. I adore all the twinkling lights and sparkling decorations. I even love the cheesy music and all the Christmas specials on tv.

Our Owl Topped Tree

The festive season for me begins in October, that’s when I get my Christmas shopping done. I know October is ridiculously early but it’s a throwback to the days when I worked in retail and wouldn’t have the brain power or time to do any shopping closer to the time. Once the gifts are sorted, I then order my Christmas packaging, gift wrap, labels, and glass bottles in a variety of sizes. Then begins the sterilising, decanting, and bottling of the fruit infused liqueurs that I made during the summer. This past season, there was Raspberry Gin, Cherry Bourbon, Blackberry Rum, and Damson Gin. Once that’s done, I can begin the prepping our Christmas bakes by marinating giant batches of mixed dried fruit in our homemade sloe gin.

Homemade fruit liqueurs

This year, I started Christmas markets at the end of November which seemed really early, but it did mean I was able to sign up for a variety of markets in a different places through to December and still do our weekly bakes. I like being busy! I love the buzz of chatting to our customers face to face and getting to know people in our community. It is always such a thrill to introduce people to things that they may not have tried before. In hindsight, I probably booked one event too many. My energy may well have been better spent resting for a day instead of ploughing through two sleepless nights in order to do another market day.

There was an exhausting and unexpected (due to the train strikes) 7 hour each way drive to London and a day driving around dropping presents to friends in Chester. We packed up on the 21st and flew to Ireland to spend Christmas with my parents, brothers, sisters in law, aunts, cousin and niece and nephew. A mad, busy and loud houseful of 11 adults, 2 babies and 3 cats. It was wonderful to be home and fed and watered by my family. The week passed by in a blur of playing with the little ones and catching up on sleep.

Christmas in Killarney

January Blues

We got home on the 28th of December, caught up with some friends and had a quiet New Years at home with just the two of us. It was a given that there would be some come down after the craziness of the festive period, but I was excited to get back to work. Then I came down with the flu. It wiped me out for the best part of 8 days, which I spent mostly in bed, feeling lonesome and sorry for myself as Hubby was back to work. Those January blues hit me hard! It has been a month of contradictions; I missed the hustle and bustle of Christmas, but I was appreciating the calm. I was still exhausted from work, but I missed working and creating things. I love my job and get immense satisfaction from it but, working from home, on my own, means that during busy periods I can go for weeks without seeing anyone apart from Hubby and our customers briefly while delivering orders. I was drained from being ill but also bored and frustrated at not having any energy while still feeling grateful that I am able to take the time off to recover. I blamed myself and felt guilty for getting sick because I had over-exerted myself in the run up to Christmas and not left enough in the tank to fight it off quickly. I missed my family, but I was enjoying the peace and quiet. I missed the snuggles with my sweet, funny niece and cuddly new nephew! I felt disconnected from the world and didn’t leave the house for nearly two weeks, but I felt anxious about reaching out to friends for company. I felt lonely despite being very happy in my own company. I missed going for walks in the beautiful national parks in Killarney, but I really do love the comfort and familiarity of our home here in Chester. The weather was cold and wet, and it was dark and miserable a lot of the time which really affects my mood and sucks all the energy and motivation out of me. The combination of all these factors has wiped the floor with me physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Post Christmas, Pre New Years catch up with friends.

Just to be clear, I am not complaining. I did this to myself! My excitement and desire to please means that I often over book myself and find it difficult to say no. The lessons I have learned this festive season are:

1. I am determined that we will do more markets through the year in 2023, not just at Christmas.

2. Not do more than one market day a week. Doing two days in a row means I get no sleep in between as I have to work that night to replenish what sold the previous day.

3. Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean that I should.

4. Sometimes, the best reward when stressed and tired is to just stay home and huddle up for a weekend.

5. As much as I love work, I need to ensure that I make space and time in the week both to rest and to be social and see friends.

6. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re sick. It can’t be helped.

7. Take breaks from social media. If I switch off my phone, I will relax!

So, this January instead of setting resolutions and punishing my body for the perceived excesses of December, I decided to be kind to myself. Each year, with the best of intentions, I set myself goals and make a list of things that I want to achieve in the year ahead. There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to do this. I am an organiser after all and there’s nothing I like more than making a list and then crossing things off a list, but inevitably, I will not achieve all of those things, and I will feel guilty. I just decided to postpone doing it until February, when the weather is warmer, and spring is on the horizon, and I naturally feel sprightlier and more hopeful. This month, I have been combating the darkness by savouring my favourite comforting foods, reading books, and watching movies. I have had afternoon naps and long baths. I have lit candles, the ones that are ‘too nice’ to use (gods know what I’m saving them for)! I have taken the time to brew the good tea, the loose-leaf stuff that I save for ‘special’ occasions. I have been exercising in ways that bring me joy, taking walks and dancing. I have sought comfort and peace and rest as a priority. I am so thankful for and proud of this body that carries me through life so well. It is strong and resilient even when I feel less adept mentally and emotionally. I have embraced my inner sloth and snail. I have been doing these things without guilt (as much as possible for the person that I am), as there’s enough time for that in the rest of the year.

Sunny and rainy winter beach walk.

We are currently celebrating Chinese New Year/Lunar New Year. We did fly home for a day at the weekend to make Mama Tong happy and it was an excellent excuse to have a feast with the whole fam and go cuddle the babies. They’ve both grown so much! Ella has so much personality and stubborn determination in her little body and Milo is a chubby happy chonk of a boy. We adore them both. It’s so lovely to see my little brother being a parent. He’s become a really good Dad. I am super proud of both my brothers. The Chinese New Year celebrations go on for two weeks, ending with the Lantern Festival on the 5th of Feb this year. We don’t typically follow all the traditional festivities apart from a big family meal on New Year’s Eve. Maybe in the future I’ll keep January for comfort and just make my resolutions after Chinese New Year. Maybe my new year’s resolution this year will be just to keep this self-kindness going through the rest of the year. We shall see what happens.

The fam queueing up for their red packets and new year's wishes.

Happy Chinese New Year everybody. Be kind to yourselves. Treat yourselves as you treat your loved ones. You too are loved and special and deserving of care.

Wishing you all health, wealth and happiness for 2023, but also peace, contentment and rest.

Much love,

Viv xx